American Italian

Phrase pretentious foodie assholes use to differentiate between fancy Italian food and cheap Italian food.



the American Italian Restaurant
Servings for nonItalian Americans:

noodles and tomatoe sauce with very bland seasonings that will not go against your religion- spegeti

pie' crust drenched in tomatoe sauce, barely any graded mozerella cheese so you can handle it - imitation "pizza" pie

dough rolls with a pinch of seasoning on them and just a touch a garlic - garlec knats

breaded with white man's oils and mozzerella in the middle - mazarela stickss

Get for real we don't care for non Italians.

In Italy - real italian food.
Example:
I went to the Olive Gardin the American Italian Restaurant to get some knock off imitation pizza and got constipated.

I went to the American Italian Restaurant and didn't realize the owner just moved here from Italy. The food was filled with so much spices it put me into shock and I forgot who and what I was.


Italian-American
fun, outgoing personalities
LOVE for their families and freinds
can always spice things up with a little scandal
hold grudges FOREVER :)
tend to have the same friends
are never ashamed of their family
very driven goal oriented people
its own race separate from italians in italy
very teasing and joking
all of em are good cooks!
can dance the best to the terrintella
love sausage sandwiches and pizza frita!
extremely good looking even when they are old and grey
even old italians have that spunk!
Example:
look at that little old lady. she is so funny and full of energy. she must me italian-american!


Italian-American
1.) An American citizen of both Italian and American descent
2.) An American citizen that can trace his/her heritage back to both Italy and to the colonies of the United States
Example:
An Italian-American has both Italian and American blood. The term Italian-American, as well as other hyphenations in America, is commonly used to signify an American citizen of Italian descent. However, according to international standards, this is incorrect. A true Italian-American is of both Italian and colonial American descent.


Italian-American
Very proud people born in America, who's ancestry traces back to Italy. We have pride in our heritage and culture that has been passed on and celebrated today. Possibly one of the two most largest communities in America (that and the Irish).

The guys inherit the dark hairiness as well as the thick "Italian sausage" we are blessed with and put to good use. Italian men and there descedants are known to be very sexually active and passionate lovers.
Example:
Mark Ruffalo is a Italian-American actor.


Italian-American challenge
This is a challenge for all the Italians or Italian-looking people out there. Basically you have to score a threesome with an Italian girl (from Italy) and an American girl. The kicker is that you have to convince the American girl that you're Italian while convincing the Italian girl that you're American. Extra points if you get 'em both indabutt. The best strategy is to speak bad Italian and broken English and make sure the American girl doesn't know Italian and the Italian girl doesn't know much English. This is a tough one...any guy who pulls it off is generally awarded pimp of the year automatically.
Example:
Mac: "Hey Guido, I heard you were trying to pull off the Italian-American challenge last night. Did it work?"
Guido: "No."
Mac: "Ooooh, looks like you got denied on the pimp of the year award again."


italian-american neighborhood
New Jersey(mainly North in Bergen)and Bensonhurst Brooklyn defines what is to be in an Italian-American neighborhoods.
Example:
Kid #1: I'm from Queens, i've never been to an Italian feast before?

Kid #2: What the fuck?! You need to head out to Jersey during the summer!

Kid #1: Which italian-american neighborhood are you talking about so I can put it in my GPS?

Kid #2: Everywhere! Where you live at, on the moon?


Italian American men
(Not all IAM are like this)

Annoying ass 5th gen men who make being Italian their only personality trait. They speak over immigrants and act like they are immigrants when they aren’t. They are loud, rude, and most of the time can’t even pronounce their own last name correctly.

These people can mainly be found in Boston.
Example:
Italian American men can be really annoying sometimes


Italian-American conspiracy theorists
Italian-American conspiracy theorists are doggedly preoccupied with fringe theories pertaining to the innocence of Chicago-area mafia killers who were nonetheless indicted, shown to be guilty of their crimes (well-beyond a reasonable doubt), and incarcerated. They often complain that said mafia killers got a "raw deal" because of "bad news" disseminated by "dry beefers."

Their theories are viewed with skepticism by normal people because they are rarely supported by any conclusive evidence and contrast with institutional analysis, which focuses on people's collective behavior in publicly known institutions, as recorded in scholarly material and mainstream media reports, to explain historical or current events, rather than speculate on the motives and actions of secretive coalitions of individuals, such as Mike Maseth, T. Markus Funk, Mitchell Mars Mitch Mars, Patrick Fitzgerald, and Charlie Hernandez.

Clear-headed individuals argue that Italian-American conspiracy theory, itself, goes well-beyond the boundaries of rational criticism when it becomes nonfalsifiable--such a theory is a closed system of ideas which explains away contradictory evidence by claiming that the conspirators themselves planted it.

Italian-American conspiracy theorists typically grew up in areas like Melrose Park, Elmwood Park, Galewood, Bridgeport, Cicero, and Berwyn. They regularly troll the Chicago Suntimes' mob threads.
Example:
The Suntimes mob blog is hilarious when all the Italian-American conspiracy theorists come crawling out of the wood work, crying foul.


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