Excellency

A medical condition caused by over usage of the Microsoft application excel. Symptoms include malfunction of the eyes from prolonged staring at this application and severe anxiety due to inability to rectify application errors such as circular references, amongst others.



Excelling
It is the art of watching an excel file while it watches you back, while you are being incredibly unproductive.
Example:
I was working on our company's analysis and was excelling at that for many hours!


Excellent
*taps fingertips together*
Example:
"Excellent."


Excellence
A perfect example of newspeak, commonly found in the US federal government and frequently found in the same sentence as 'diversity'. Excellence is an intangible noun derived in recent decades from an adjective meaning anything that is not directly in opposition to a mission statement. Basically it is supposed to mean 'good-ness', but better than good, really good. But without any increase in quality of work to back it up. So it can be anything from poor to mediocre to decent to great to outstanding.

In all concrete reality, excellence means nothing, but you'll see it everywhere to describe everything.
Example:
"She has demonstrated outstanding achievement in the field of excellence while serving her country during the difficult circumstances administering corrections at Abu Ghraib prison"

"At the Library of Congress we value diversity and excellence, while fostering a compassionate environment of professionals"

"Leadership excellence"

"An environment of excellence"

"Tools of excellence"


Excellent
Mr Burns of the Simpsons favourite expression when devising an evil scheme. Usually uttered whilst tenting his fingers.
Example:
Mr Burns "Smithers have the hounds been released?"
Smithers "Yes sir"
Mr Burns "Excellent"


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