account

One who counts



accounting
Profession in which calculator-wielding lackeys figure out ways to hide all the money the boss has spent buying pussy;
Job duties also include figuring out how to write and cash checks, prepare fraudulent financial statements, and shredding documents.
Example:
"Jack, can you call up Benny down in accounting to see if they finished cooking the books? I forgot to attach those "catering" receipts form vinny's liqours and suki's massage parlor.


accounting
1. The department that insists on gang-auditing the entire coporation. Accounting departments solve problems you didn't know you have in ways you don't understand. In God they trust, all others must bring data.

2. The process of hiding income by processing it through a large-turnover entity, who takes a premium from it, and then receiving the income from that entity to avoid suspicion from auditors and IRS.
Example:
Accounting will prove anything, even the truth.


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