pitchfork

Also known as Pitchfork Media. A pretentious, elitist, hype-mongering, trend-obsessed piece of shit website that specializes in "independent music".Known for giving gushing reviews to anything that sounds remotely obscure. Even if the music itself actually sucks. No, wait, ESPECIALLY if the music itself actually sucks.Too bad it only exists in online format or else I'd wipe my ass with their sorry excuses for reviews.Also, all too appropriately, every hipster's holy grail.



pitchfork
a device used to anal-probe self-righteous pricks who pretend they created all of the bands they listen to and have never considered another's opinion on anything.
Example:
Get off your defensive high horse, fan boy; I will pitchfork ya!


pitchfork
Male version of the camel toe. Caused by tight fitting clothing outlining the penis and balls. Found in males and transsexuals wearing Spandex, Speedos and tights.
Example:
While a camel toe is a thing of beauty and wonder, a pitchfork is a vulgar display of a man's frank and beans


pitchfork
a sexual manuever involving folding one's pinky and thumb into the palm and using the remaining fingers to:1)penetrate the ass. 2) penetrate the vagina. and 3)tickle either the outer vagina or the buttcrack with the third finger.
in some circles known as a "three pronged attack" or in nautical circles, " the poseidion adventure" after his legendary trident.
Example:
she never expected give her the pitchfork.


Pitchfork
Christians have the Bible.
Jews have the Torah.
Muslims have the Koran.

Hipsters who are between the ages of 20-30 and claim to live in Williamsburg (but who really still live with their mom in Queens) have Pitchfork Media.
Example:
Normal guy: Hey, let's go try that restaurant in Tribeca.
Hipster: I only want to go if it received an 8.0 or higher on Pitchfork.


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