tasered

To get incredibly messed up, drunk, shit faced, intoxicated.



Taser
When someone digs their fingers (in a finger gun position with both the index and middle) into someone's side or back and moves them around to stimulate a tickling sensation VERY quickly.
Example:
As Sarah stretched her arms up in boredom in Geography, Jake took the opportunity to taser her in the side, causing her arms to shoot back down and protect her side.


Taser
A "Less than Lethal" weapon used to incapacitate a person without killing them. Generally used by police. Fires two barbed prongs up to twenty feet which then penetrate the skin and deliver an extremely painful shock causing the perosn to fall to loose control of their muscles, fall to the ground and do the crappie flop and sometimes piss themselves.
Example:
COP: Hey shitbag. You're under arrest, turn around and put your hands behind your back.

SHITBAG: Fuck you pig. You better call for back-up

COP: Takes out Taser and repeats his order.

SHITBAG: Fuck you:

COP: Shoots shitbag with Taser and laugh's while shitbag does the crappei flop on the ground.

SHITBAG: (After he regains control of his muscles) Rolls over and puts his hands behind his back to be handcuffed while complaining about how bad it hurt and he pissed himself.

COP: Laughs hysterically while handcuffing shitbag.


Taser
They are hand-held weapons that deliver a jolt of electricity — up to 50,000 volts — from up to 10.6 metres away. The shot can penetrate up to five centimetres of clothing.

It stuns the target by causing an uncontrollable contraction of the muscle tissue. He/she is immobilized and falls to the ground — regardless of pain tolerance or mental focus.

TASER stands for Thomas A. Swift Electric Rifle, from the Tom Swift series of children's novels written in the early 20th century, including Tom Swift and his Electric Rifle. The real stars of the series of science-fiction novels were potential advances in technology.

from "cbc news"
Example:
Canadian police say Tasers have saved 4,000 lives since police forces started using them in this country in 1999.


taser
Although the word "taser" is not an acronym, one particular model is labeled as: TActical System of Electrical Response.
Sort of completes the pantheon of great acronyms. Or somthing like that.
Example:
Scenario 1-
Police Officer: "Halt eveil-doer, lest I be forced to use my TActical System of Elictrical Rosponse upon ye!"

Criminal: "Huh?"

Scenario 2:

Police officer: "Freeze scumbag!!" -sound of taser firing-

Criminal: "AAAaaagghhhh!"


The Taser
The Taser is basically a modification to The Shocker. The twist being, before applying two in the pink and one in the stink, you chew your fingernails so they are rough and jagged generating additional - taser like shock to the shocker. Alternate spelling Tazer.
Example:
Just to give her a little more surprise I carefully gnawed my fingernails into jagged points, to give her .... The Taser.


taser
A penis enlarger for law enforcement officials. Seem to be used more often than necessary, sometimes by off duty cops at parties with their friends.
Example:
Isn't it bullshit that civilian tasers aren't as powerful as the police models? This is why I have my CCW and carry with hollowpoints. Also, I fear the day when gangs discover tasers and start using them on innocent people.


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