worthington

worthington, ohio is the poor man's dublin. i say this because they have MORE n's and LESS bangable chicks. Their sports teams have been sub-par since 1890 when they were the only suburb of columbus. although many of their males are less than satisfactory, they do occasionally raise one who keeps it real and doesnt give a f (ex: CG). the most effective for of birth control in worthington is suicide.



Worthington
Boring suburban hellhole north of Columbus,Ohio bordering I270. Cookie cutter town full of white picket fences, look-a-like houses, and ridiculous zoning laws. Can be confused with a 1950's televison show at times. What it lacks in diversity it makes up in snobby people who claim to be liberals. Not as rich as Dublin but wealthier than Westerville. Teenagers call it Wo-Town.
Example:
Chris: Where are you from?
Bobby: I'm from Worthington,Ohio!
Chris: Interesting....I'm from Reynoldsburg.
Bobby: Eww.


Worthington
An extremely small town, also referred to as east bum fuck. Located in western MA, surrounded by all the other "hick" towns like Chester, Huntington, Chesterfield, etc. Only two kinds of people live in the town of Worthington: rednecks and tree-huggers. The rednecks live there because all their inbred family members live there. And the tree-hugger freaks live there because they want to be one with nature. Needless to say, they don't associate with each other.
Example:
dude, do you wanna go to Worthington tonight?" "what the hell is there to do in Worthington?" " oh ya... screw Worthington!


Worthington
A place where they have to bring in an inner city principal with a pube head to try to contain the big bad scary suburban kids.
Example:
Principal: Good morning students ( 1 minute pause)..this is your principal speaking ( 1 minute pause) I am very proud of all of you..im going to go comb my jerry curl and mack some highschool bitches..EDDIE D OUT

Student:Man that guy is wack son

Other Student: ur from fucking Worthington stop acting ghetto, now watch biggest flirt get the girls!


Worthington's Law
More money = better than. A rather fail safe way to gauge the value of human worth.
Example:
Carl Espick, econmist and editor of Value Magazine-
Did you know that, according to Worthington's Law, the opera singer who called himself, 'The Great Caruso' was nowhere near as great as Sammy Hagar, The Red Rocker? So shut up, Caruso! Hey! Who's greater than Saint Francis of Assisi? How about, uh, Darryl Strawberry? See ya later, Saint Frannie, ya schmuck. Hey, guess who's better than Van Gogh. Let's see, after adjusting for inflation... almost everybody! He made nothing!"

Random Mechanic-
So that means that I'm better than Van Gogh and Galileo put together!

Espick-
And I'm better than you, brainiac.


Sam Worthington
A hot Australian actor. born in perth, western australia on august 2 1976. has stared in films such as 'Rogue', 'Terminator Salvation', 'Avatar'.
Is extremely fit and makes girls swoon.
Example:
Girl 1: "Ohhh have you seen the new Sam Worthington film?"
Girl 2: yeah he is such a sex god!"


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