Pitman

Pitman is an ex-miner turned MC. Aparently originating from Coalville, Pitman breaks down the boundaries of conventional hip-hop, with his rhymes about tea, biscuits, and waiting in queues. On the surface an angry man, Pitman himself says he is 'misunderstood', and is actually a very happy person. Pitman has spoken out about many issues he feels strongly about, most notable claiming Usher has a 'peanut head', J-Lo a 'Massive plate face' and saying Craig David has 'A big fuck off chin'. Although playing Glastonbury this year (2005), Pitman has on previous recordings claimed that Glastonbury festival-goers are ' a bunch of virgins in a big field with no mates and no toilet roll'.



Pitman method
The act of opening a banana from it's opposite end, commonly chipping away at it's darkened stub with your thumbnails, then peeling it back per usual.

The benefit of this is that If the top of the banana is acting particularly stubborn, the Pitman method prevents damage to the banana and/or requiring the use of exterior tools to open the banana successfully.

Consoquently, the Bottom of the banana can become equally, if not more, damaged. But I know at least two people, including myself, who choose to discard of the bottom bit, as it's got a slightly bitter bit at the very end.
Example:
Birrell: "Hot dang, my Banana simply won't peel!"

Jay: "You clown, use the Pitman method!"

Birrell: "I'm simply astounded!"

Jay: "You're keen as!"


pitman surprise
when having intercourse in the doggy position, pick up your phone, and call a friend. when you friend picks up the phone, pull out and slip your member into your lovers ass. make sure the phone is close to your lover's face to receive the "yelp" or scream. proceed to hang up the phone, and finish without her knowledge of anything happening.
Example:
i got a call from anthony, but all i heard was moaning, then a scream. He must have given her the pitman surprise.


Rossy Pitman
When you wake up and think, you know what, i can't be asked to shave today, so you leave all your facial hair. Normally happens everyday for a week, and at the end of the week your beard is massive, and trampy-looking.
Example:
Monday morning, *Yawn,* shit, running late, no time for a shave, might as well get a Rossy, and by friday, ill have a massive Rossy Pitman.


Simon Pitman
A big guy with a small doink. He thinks he is so cool and he tries roasting people but they all suck. He tends to date girls that are at least 5+ years older than him and they all live across the country. He is incapable of dating people in his own state. Every time he gets a paper cut or stubs his toe he gets a cast
Example:
you see that guy always faking injuries and dating girls older than him, yeah that's Simon Pitman


Brett Pitman
The greatest footballer to ever exist. Hates gays, plays for Swindon town used to go to IIL.
Example:
Ur moms lover “My grandad is Brett Pitman”
Ur dads lover “Well u just got Pitmaned”


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