toilet roll

A word to call a friend



toilet roll chupacabra
A person who, when unable to find the unlimited patience of a saint when they are faced with the task of removing the first square of toilet tissue from the cheapest roll available on Earth, tears wildly into it, shredding it into an unrecognizable ball in the process of attempting to get some usable tissue.
Example:
Oh my God, it looks like the crazed toilet roll chupacabra has been at it again, we’ve sadly lost another entire roll of this useless state purchased shitpaper!


Toilet Roll Panic
1. Sudden uncontrollable anxiety sufferred during use of a sit-down public lavatory when it is discovered that the toilet roll is missing or has run out.

2. A phrase coined by the chief executive of the Hong Kong Consumer Council, during The Great HK Toilet Roll Crisis of 2020 which arose from rumours of a lack of supply due to manufacturers switching production to face masks.
Example:
Having done my business I looked around and sufferred a brief bout of Toilet Roll Panic on seeing the empty bog roll holder

We all lose out if toilet roll panic continues

Armed robbers who stole hundreds of toilet rolls were being hunted by Hong Kong police on Monday, in a city wracked by Toilet Roll Panic caused by coronavirus panic-buying.


rest of the toilet roll
A sort of expression that is said in certain families that usually mean a very short period of time, because one or more family members use a very excessive amount of toilet paper.
Example:
Joe: I bought some bacon. Gonna be delicious
Ben: Why? It's only gonna last for the rest of the toilet roll. Zoe's gonna eat it all.


Toilet Rolling
The act of measuring ones genitalia using a toilet paper roll
Example:
Dude 1: Hey dude what did you get up too after I left last night
Dude 2: My FWB asked for measurements so I was Toilet Rolling all night bro


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